Not everything. Not yet.

How about some Friday culture fun? Inspired by some chatter on Twitter, I thought I’d throw together a Criterion Top Ten. Feel free to leave your rude commentary about how uncultured I am in the comments. I will be happy to ignore you. Especially if you’re just stopping by to recommend Russian snuff films. (You know who you are.)

Note: This will not be a straight top ten, as I plan on doubling up a few spots in order to highlight multiple films by the same director. Otherwise it’d be a bit Terry Gilliam/Wes Anderson heavy. Further note: This is not a ranking (i.e., Number One is not the “best” or “my favorite”). It’s just a collection.

1. Brazil (3 disc set)/Time Bandits — The 3 disc set of Brazil is, quite simply, a must-own for any lover of film who also has an interest in the way the industry of film works. The set includes three cuts of the movie and a documentary that reveals just what Gilliam had to go through to get this dark, dystopian, and hilarious film in front of audiences. Time Bandits (out of print) isn’t as good—and the disc is so old it isn’t even enhanced for 16×9 televisions—but it’s a personal favorite as it’s the first movie I have a memory of watching.
2. The Royal Tenenbaums/Rushmore — The master of modern quirk, Wes Anderson isn’t for everyone, I get it. But The Royal Tenenbaums has always struck me as possessing the perfect mixture of unrequited longing, indescribable silliness, and heartfelt joy. Rushmore, meanwhile, deserves its place on this list for Bill Murray’s performance alone. Between this and Lost in Translation, Murray shifted into a weird combo role of cinematic wiseman and cinematic prankster. You never know quite where he’s going to show up or what he’s going to be doing, but you know it’ll be worth watching.
3. The Third Man — Worth the price of admission for Orson Welles’ (limited) screen time alone, I’m including this film as much for what it looks like as the story, direction, or performances. You’ve never seen an old black and white picture look this good. Unfortunately out of print, it’s worth picking up if you can find a copy.
4. If…. — When the whole “Willard Romneyhands was totally a bully in prep school” nontroversy broke a few weeks back, I couldn’t help but think “Hm. Clearly these people have never seen If…. because, had they, they would know that cutting some kid’s hair is a pretty light form of hazing, all things considered. Lindsay Anderson’s best known, and best, film takes a blow torch to the strictures of upper class English life and the boarding school culture that bred generations of decent chaps. Perhaps best known as the first onscreen appearance of Malcolm McDowell (later Alex in A Clockwork Orange), If…. remains a powerful portrait of a lifestyle now gone.
5. The Killing/Paths of Glory — Speaking of Stanley Kubrick, you can pick up his early offerings in pristine blu-ray (with a bonus third movie: The Killing also features a HD transfer of Kubrick’s Killer’s Kiss, by no means a great film but still an instructive one). In the way it plays with chronology and point of view, The Killing feels almost modern, Tarantinoesque. Paths of Glory doesn’t do as much for me—I’ll take Dr. Strangelove‘s comedic absurdism over Paths of Glory‘s more dour absurdism any day of the week—but it’s a fascinating film nonetheless from a stylistic point of view: You can see all of Kubrick’s quirks (long tracking shots, close up facial shots, etc.) starting to come together in this, his first major film.
6. Gimme Shelter — Great music, an interesting time, and the biggest rock band in the world confronted with a murder captured on film that occurred at one of their biggest performances. Criterion has a bunch of films by the Maysles brothers—Salesmen is probably their crowning achievement; Grey Gardens is also quite good—but this is the one I return to time and again.
7. Chasing Amy — The first Criterion disc I ever owned, and an extremely important film to me growing up. Probably Kevin Smith’s finest work. I won’t argue that this is the best picture on this list, but it’s one I enjoy a heck of a lot. Joey Lauren Adams in delightful. Jason Lee proved he could act a little. Ben Affleck is probably the weak link in this picture, and even he’s pretty okay, more or less. (He’s really not a very good actor; can we admit this yet?) As a bonus, the commentary track is extremely funny. Kevin Smith is one of the few directors who really got commentary tracks; those he recorded for Clerks, Mallrats, this flick, and Dogma are all kind of hilarious.
8. Gomorrah — “Finally, a movie with subtitles!” I hear someone snarking. Whatever, subtitles blow. Gomorrah is an oppressive film, in a way: The deep-rooted culture of corruption and crime and fear overwhelms everything else, leaving the audience punished by the time credits roll. Powerful and dark and realistic, it’s kind of the anti-Sopranos, a reminder that a life of crime isn’t glamorous or beautiful but dreadful and deadly. When the rule of law breaks down, the lawmakers will be those willing to kill for even minor infractions. It’s a scary thought.
9. Do the Right Thing — Spike Lee is, in many ways, an overrated filmmaker who lets his prejudices cloud his pictures and his judgment. But this remains a striking, brilliant, and controversial film, a reminder of what life is like outside of our little bubbles and the resentment that festers in certain communities. Still worth watching despite the dreadful performance by Spike Lee (even worse than Ben Affleck, that one) and the only slightly better performance by Rosie Perez.
10. The Man Who Fell to Earth — Frankly, I’m still not 100 percent sure what to make of this picture. But I enjoy the hell out of it. It’s trippy and bizarre and sexy and funny and creepy and scary all at the same time. Is there anyone more suited to play an alien pretending to be a man than David Bowie? Beside maybe Tilda Swinton? Probably my favorite Bowie performance (The Prestige and Zoolander notwithstanding). Looks absolutely beautiful in Blu-ray.

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